“Your Psychic Child”

Its book review time. Today’s book is “Your Psychic Child.” Now before we get too far into the review I would like to give a brief disclaimer; I have not read this book. My review will be based largely on broad, sweeping generalizations, or assumptions I’ve formed about this book based on where its located in the book store, the synopsis on the back of the book, and of course the title.

You may say, “Oh he is just judging this book by its cover.” False, I’m not even judging this book; I am judging the people who would read this book (look who’s prejudice now).  If I were to judge this book by its cover, well I would have to say it’s probably about gardening. Just because I didn’t read this book, doesn’t mean I can’t give an accurate summation of its content. Not only can I accurately summarize the book’s content, I can do it with one word: stupid. Bingo, job done, hit the showers.

See the book just doesn’t have enough substance to merit a whole review of it. So I must explore different avenues, ask the real, hard hitting questions. Questions like how does this book get published? Who would write such a book? Most importantly, who would read such a book? Presumably, It is written for parents of psychic children, but due to the lack of actual psychic children, one can infer its written for stupid people who have children. But we will dive into that later.

First things first, who wrote this inspired piece of literature? Well, it’s a woman with the auspicious name of Sara Wiseman. Mrs. Wiseman is an author, psychic counselor, and proud mother of four. I assume her children are psychic, but I don’t know for sure; I can’t read minds. If you need to know more about her please visit her aptly named website, http://www.yourpsychicchild.com where you will find gems like this: “A final word: this website is for those interested in the Divine, light, love, clarity, transformation, healing and the confluence of intuition and spiritual growth. Dabbling in darker stuff? Please stay clear.” Oh, I almost forgot, the website also hosts her bands music. It’s for children, and obviously it’s a free download, Sara isn’t in it for the money.

Now, to the people who visit her website/read her books. This book was found in the “New Age” section, so using deductive reasoning one presumes that this book is intended for the members of our society known as “weirdos.”

Back to the question, “who would actually buy this book?” Assumption being that it’s for parents of psychic children who wish to be better prepared for raising the aforementioned children. Ok, I’ll bite. The book states that it’s to help bring out their powers, to make them stronger. But why? If, like the book contends, there are more psychic children in this generation, shouldn’t this book aid parents in identify the symptoms early on, so they can be taken to some sort of secret government research facility to be disposed of? At the very least shouldn’t it help parents safeguard their thoughts? I think It should.

Who wants a pre-teen all up in their head, fooling around with their memories, probably spilling chocolate all over the place, I certainly don’t. So if you have a psychic child, and you refuse to acknowledge that it’s a monster, one that will probably use its power for evil and destroy the world, then go ahead and buy this book. Strengthen his/her powers.

I’m not afraid of your kids! Worst case scenario you’ll just makes some sort of Criss Angel knock off. I’m not advising you to do this, I mean, best case your kids grows up to be a total weirdo (like yourself). The kind of kid that sports scarves indoors and wear gloves without fingers. Maybe they will grow up to think they’re actually psychic, maybe even write a book about it, who knows, no one can see the future.

So there you have it, a stupid book, by a stupid author, written for stupid people. Please join me next week when I review “The 7: Seven Wonders that will Change your Life” by Glen Beck

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3 Responses to “Your Psychic Child”

  1. Nicely done. When you gave your brief disclaimer that you had not read the book I was hoping you would go in this direction of judging the book by its cover or rather the kind of people who would buy it.

  2. I like the idea of reviewing a book based on the cover.
    “Well…I didn’t quite finish the book or even start the book, but I did get a good look at the cover, and based on the cover art, the author’s name, the title, and the summary on the back I would say…”

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