What’s next for Obama?

Posted on March 28, 2011 by broletariat

Tonight, President Obama is going to defend his policy, and rightfully so. At least he was open and honest to us about his intentions. With NATO assuming responsibility of the no-fly zone today and France sending even more jets not associated with NATO, it is clear that we won’t have much military obligation in Libya. However, it seems as though a much broader fight has begun to materialize, one that the United States has wanted to happen since the Cold War.

Democracy hasn’t been “attainable” for anyone in the Middle East for the entirety of history. As soon as Tunisia made it look so easy, followed by Egypt, now Libya, technologies of today opened the eyes of the rest of the region to the possibility of democracy (I hate still won’t admit that Glenn Beck was right). Their revolutions are reminiscent of the French and American revolutions; the only difference is there are nations that have gone through those revolutions and progressed afterwards, and those nations can lend a significant, helping hand (that and technological advancement).

After one country saw success, not surprisingly, it was a mobilizing force for the rest of the people in neighboring countries. So now, other nations are fighting for their freedoms as well: Syria, Bahrain, Yemen, Iran(?). What will our response be? What’s worse about it, is that again, the Syrian government’s response has been to turn their guns on the people. If we are intervening in Libya because of democratic ideals, then those same ideals warrant intervention in Syria, as well.

Sadly, I don’t think the United States will do anything. The only reason I say that is because Fox News, specifically Hannity, has been preempting that action with rhetoric. Almost as soon as we took action in Libya, Hannity was warning of a “slippery slope”. Which of course makes me question his message. So, do I think we should step in for the Syrian people as well? Absolutely. No question about it. Should we do it alone? Absolutely not. That is going to be Obama’s toughest challenge of his first term. Again, though, we have a moral obligation to intervene in Syria.

How could we possibly do that though? First of all, we should be making Israel intervene. We have a boat-load of military factions in Israel, not to mention the Israeli military owes us everything. That action would at least show to the young nations (because that is the likely outcome of these revolutions) that democratic states, regardless of their history, help each other. If Israel helps facilitate the rebel factions in these Middle Eastern countries, that can only help to reverse the disgusting reputation Israel has. Moreover, it would work to reverse the United States’ ugly reputation in the eyes of Middle Easterners, because let’s be honest, they’re not too happy about our relationship with Israel.

Secondly, European nations also have to echo our call for intervention in the name of democratic ideals. So far, they have in Libya. Which makes Syria just as much their problem as ours. Apart from mirroring the military tactics deployed in Libya, the international community should put pressure on these oppressive governments. Economic sanctions would be one way of applying pressure, apart from sheer political pressure and diplomacy.

Where are the United States’ current security threats manifesting themselves? The Middle East. From terrorism to despotism, the Middle Eastern governments are the equivalent of the 18th century monarchies that we fought to free ourselves from. Where would our nation be without the help of the French during the American Revolution? What will the future look like if terrorism is no longer an international threat? Failed states are hotbeds for terrorism. There is very little regulation or oversight, allowing elusivity for terrorist cells to operate uninhibited. What will the people’s response be if we protect them in their fight against oppression? Do you think they’ll be hostile towards us? I would venture to guess not.

What I find ironic about the uprising in Middle Eastern countries are the reasons for their revolts. The people are demanding that the gap between rich and poor be lessened. They’re upset with the ruling class having total control of the government and in turn, the economy. The United States is supposedly the archetype of democracy, yet our own nation is feeling those same effects. I guess what I’m saying is that in my view, these Middle Eastern countries are seemingly more democratic than the American public. They recognize the issues threatening their nation’s well being, and they are acting. Should this be motivation for the American public? Or would the guns be turned on us too?

When we went to war in Iraq, originally, the one thing that the American people seemed to find solace in was the fact that democracy was being promoted. The only problem with the Bush administration’s doctrine (well not the only problem) in the spread of democracy was their hasty actions. It was like they were trying to force-feed it to Middle Eastern nations. Now, however, it is the people of these nations that are initiating this paradigm shift, NOT the pseudo-exceptionalism of the United States and its capitalistic agenda. Progression of international order is being served to us on a silver platter, and we can’t turn a blind eye to it.

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Unwatchable or A Genuine Train Wreck

Posted on March 26, 2011 by DonnyBagg

I don’t want to write a whole review about this “film” I have other things to not be doing. Devotees will recall I assumed Unstoppable was a bad movie and against my better judgment I decided to watch it this week, I just had to find out why it had an 87% on RT (I have reviewed three movies; I think I have earned the right to address Rotten Tomatoes as RT). The previews made me think it was some kind of terrorist attack on a train but it is honestly just a train with no conductor. I am currently at a loss for words. I enjoy a mindless action movie as much as the next guy but that doesn’t mean I will give it a glowing review. I am sure the movie isn’t as bad as I am about to make it out as but it is one of those things where I didn’t like it and other people loved it so that makes me not like it even more, not sure if there is a word for that. It is like Christianity, I just don’t understand why people love it so much and that infuriates me (Yes, I am provocative).

I am going to have to rack my brain for a second to come up with something good about this movie. It has Rosario Dawson, who has the ability to look smoking hot but unfortunately not in this film. It has Denzel Washington, who has the ability to make a great movie but unfortunately also not the case. I enjoyed Chris Pine in Star Trek (Abrams, 2009) and he is capable of taking down leading man parts but comes off completely unexceptional throughout. I will reserve judgment on Pine and chalk this one up to poor decision making. Did any of those sound like pros? No, alright I will continue to think. The writer, Mark Bomback, also wrote Live Free or Die Hard (Wiseman, 2007), Race to Witch Mountain (Fickman, 2009), and an upcoming Total Recall (Wiseman, 2012) remake. What’s that? We are still in the pros section? Damnit, move that statement to the next paragraph and follow it up with a sentence berating Bomback for doing shitty work. The movie is simple. If you don’t think about it much, I am talking about completely turning your brain off and strictly watching with your eyes, it can be a rather enjoyable experience. You will see some good looking actors dart across the screen, some action, a little suspense, people overcoming adversity and diversity to work towards solving a crisis, and if I go any further a spoiler alert. The movie is simple. That is as pro as it is going to get.

Ok, if I focus I can knock this part out in five minutes. Tony Scott, I have tried and tried to like you. Enemy of the State (T. Scott, 1998) was like one of my favorite VHS’s growing up. I have watched six of your movies in the past 15 months, not including mostly re-watching Enemy of the State on television over Christmas break. They range from average to awful. Spy Games (T. Scott, 2001) and True Romance (T. Scott, 1993) were adequate, but let’s be honest you had Quintin Tarentino writing the latter so you didn’t have to do much work. Your remake of Taking of Pelham 123 (T. Scott, 2009) was garbage, as were Days of Thunder (T. Scott, 1990) and Top Gun (T. Scott, 1986). I find it hard to believe that you and Ridley come from the same family. I hate hating people for doing poorly a job I couldn’t do at all, but this is a lifetime of refuse. As I look over your directorial credits I see a laundry list of movies that I will never watch again (yet somehow you snuck Man of Fire (T. Scott, 2004) in there, touché) and if I didn’t hate Friedberg and Seltzer so much I would make a comparison. I honestly don’t know which is worse right now, your work lingers in the realm of sub-par and mediocre whereas they top the charts of bad and anger me to the point where I am currently considering tossing this laptop across the room. Their work makes me physically ill (not a joke) to even think about and will probably ruin the rest of my day, while you simply bore and embarrass me with your poor performance. I think it would almost be better if you were on Friedberg and Seltzers level because although I hate to admit it, I am almost certain there is a place buried deep in my mind where I garnish some level of respect for them for being able to make so much money off of such complete and utter mind-numbing horseshit. 15 minutes, not bad. I am not completely sure what I wrote there I was temporarily blinded by rage I apologize if any of that was incoherent. None of that had to do with Unstoppable. Unstoppable had a negligible amount of action for an action-thriller movie. The choppy camera work tricks the brain into thinking there are things happening when in reality it is just a train going down the track. The plot is preposterous even if it is based on true events (I refuse to do enough research to find out). It is incredibly repetitive. There is a problem up ahead, they argue about the best course of action to take, Denzels idea get shot down, the quasi-villainous corporate guys idea fails, news report, repeat. There is more train related suspense in an episode of Thomas the Train Engine. The Denzel/Pine banter is sickening, each exchange made me want to shut the movie off. It is one sappy cliché after another. To all those RT reviewers who said this movie was “awesome” “a rollercoaster” or “the most fun I have had at the movies all year,” I say fuck you; this is a steamy boring pile of trash and a blemish on the careers of everyone involved. If you enjoyed this film, then let’s agree to never be friends because the people who eat this stuff up disgust me. Overall and in complete honesty the movie wasn’t all that bad, the reviews were bad for being so good, which in turn makes the movie bad in my mind, and if that is the case then perhaps reading this scathing review will make you enjoy the movie all the more. So I give it:

1 out of 5 Oscar nominations for Denzel Washington

I said I didn’t want to write a whole review. I usually don’t like to criticize movies that harshly but I couldn’t help myself. It was just too many bad things piled on top of each other, all set off by “critics” giving this an 87% on RT…and now I just clicked on the Top Critics tab and they gave it a fucking 91%, is this a fucking joke?!? Perhaps I should write an article on how the ratings on RT are unreliable, that would teach them a lesson.

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Miix’n’mash

Posted on March 25, 2011 by broletariat

Ode to Miike Snow –

If you like electronic music, in any form (dubstep, electronica, techno, etc.), then miike snow is a staple. His voice fits perfect with any house beat, and his originals are so upbeat that they are perfect tracks to remix/mashup:

Silvia (Roboberget Remix)
Animal (Punks Jump Up Remix)

The man is a straight musician, granted, none of these are his originals. Check some of his stuff out. I’d recommend hypem.com, a blogger’s music paradise.

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Nostalgia–Pokémon

Posted on March 25, 2011 by acedizzle

factose

About a week ago, while walking through a Target, I noticed that a brand new Pokémon game had recently been released. It was marketed as a whole new world of Pokémon; a complete new world with new characters, Pokémon, and locations. This got me thinking about how great the previous Poké-World was, and then I wondered why exactly the game was being redesigned. It’s the case of redesigning the mousetrap.

To begin, if you did not take part in the Pokémon craze then you’re an idiot this whole piece will make no sense to you, and stop reading now because the nerd factor is very high; if you were into Digimon , I order you to stop reading, I won’t stand for a show with such a ludicrous premise (♪..digital monsters, Digimon are the champions! ♪). Seeing these games made me decide that I would revisit the world of Pokémon games, and Pokémon cards just to see how it would translate now that I’m more mature (relatively speaking).

The new Pokémon games are the 17th and 18th versions of Pokémon for Gameboy, not including that Trading Card Game (buy packs of card on a video game? no thanks, I’ll go spend real money on them). Black and White are the new game, and I felt oddly compelled to buy one. So after being at Target, I went right home and started looking through old stuff to find my Pokémon games, where I found Pokémon Blue, Yellow, Silver, Sapphire, Fire Red, Emerald and Heart Gold1 games (So I’m a nerd.. big deal).

The games were for Gameboys from the Gameboy Original (although I had a Gameboy Pocket), Gameboy Color, GameboyAdvance, and Gameboy DS. By the way Gameboy DS is the stupidest Gameboy of all time, I don’t understand the novelty of two screens with one being touchscreen? But I digress, the plan is still to re-play a few of them, but as of now I’ve only played Fire Red, which is an updated graphics version of the original Red and Blue games. So far it has been a fun way to pass an hour here and there. My character factose currently has 7 badges, 25 Pokédex entries, and has been just kicking the shit out of his rival DonnyB. The novelty of the game will probably fizzle out soon, but it was fun while it lasted. Perhaps this whole new Pokémon world will reignite the fire, we’ll see.

Now onto Pokémon Cards, which were one of the biggest crazes of the late 1990’s, the kind of craze that caused stores to be sold out frequently. I even remember a conversation with fellow author michaelkeaton as a child that went a little something like this:

michaelkeaton: “You know the Pokémon craze is going to end right?”
myself: “I don’t care, I can’t wait because then they won’t be sold out and there will be more cards for me.”
michaelkeaton: “Whatever.”
myself: “Well maybe my love of Pokémon will someday be the subject of a blog post, did you ever think of that smart guy?”

Back to Pokémon… the cards were “collectible” but I used them to play the game. I even remember my deck type, Electric and Grass, and it was a deadly combo. Many friends were pwn3d at the hands of my Electabuzz, Zapdos, and Venasaur. The excitement that came from opening a pack of Pokémon cards was a feeling that was pathetic is difficult to match. I knew that the rare card in the pack was the third from the back in the pack of eleven, and I would always set that off to the side for an extra dose of excitement. As part of revisiting Pokémon, I thought I’d try to see what kind of excitement I got from opening a pack now. Well, the excitement was… less, significantly less, so much so that it is depressing. I would love to have anything give me the anxious feeling I had in 1999 when I would open a pack of cards (once again, pathetic). The last Pokémon cards I bought were part of the original set of cards, but now there is a seemingly infinite choice in “versions” of Pokémon cards. I bought myself a ten dollar package of three separate kinds (Supreme Victors, Rising Rivals, and Dragon Frontiers) just to give myself a chance to see what the new cards are all about, and they pale in comparison to the originals. For one, there were nine cards in one pack, and ten in the other two packs which shot my rare card system all to hell. Here are the highlights and lowlights of the whole experience.

Highlights

  1. Holofoil Moltres, not as cool as old Moltres, but I’m a purist.
  2. Elekid, my favorite Pokémon was always Electabuzz. I’m still unsure how baby Pokémon work when they originally didn’t exist… do I need them prior to the original Pokémon, these are the type of questions I don’t want to ask. Quick side note: Electabuzz now evolves (Electivire!).
  3. A trainer card I recognized—Switch!
  4. SP Energy, my energy of choice.

Lowlights

  1. Two separate, but equally terrible versions of some crappy Pokémon called a Feebas2, like Magikarp didn’t have a monopoly on the crappy fish Pokémon market? Sorry guy in Mt. Moon Pokécenter, I don’t want to buy your crappy Magikarp for $500 (True Pokéfans will get that).
  2. A bunch of what I consider “made-up” Pokémon, I mean I can understand a bird that can shoot lightning/fire/ice, a swarm of rotten eggs, or a metal orb, but a bunny with ears that can shatter a boulder on extension? That’s the craziest f*cking thing I’ve ever heard.
  3. Supporter Card. This was a holofoil that seems similar to a Trainer. Whatever.

Well now on to the third part of my Pokémon re-visitation. Pokémon Adventures, which is an MMO Pokémon game, which in theory AND practice is awesome. I have only played the game a little, but had it existed in Pokémon’s heyday, it would have been huge. I have read with the new Pokémon games there is a way to battle over Wi-Fi, but I do not think it is like this game. Could you imagine if while playing Pokémon as a kid you could be walking around and bump into your friends and go on missions together? So simple, so elegant, so genius. Check it out at Pokémon Adventures.

Some would consider spending fifteen hours (so I lied about my play-time earlier… but my Growlithe is almost Level 60) a waste of time, but I disagree. Even though the excitement is gone, just remembering how awesome Pokémon used to be, it was worth it.

[1] For those of you who know Heart Gold shouldn’t be in my collection of games, it was bought during a different re-visitation in the summer of 2010.
[2] After a quick google-ing I found that Feebas, like Magikarp evolves into a powerful Pokémon (Milotic).

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Yum, delish

Posted on March 24, 2011 by broletariat

Thought I’d start sharing some tunes. First of many, enjoy.

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At War Again?

Posted on March 24, 2011 by broletariat

I don’t like how Fox News is already spinning the situation in Libya as America at war. Obviously they are just trying to breed doubt for the upcoming election. But is that really what America needs right now? Have we forgotten that we are trying to spread democracy in the middle east in Afghanistan and Iraq? Have we forgotten that we are in a world-wide war against terror? Last I remember, Qaddafi was a terrorist, and we need to be making democracy look like the system that can work for the people of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Apart from painting this as war, the Conservatives’ argument is that Obama may have acted unconstitutionally.  According to laws passed after September 11th, the President can preemptively act against a terrorist or a nation housing a terrorist. Republicans, you should remember this, you praised it about ten years ago.

Congress is questioning the constitutionality of the President’s action. What is ironic is that they are citing the War Powers Act, which is Congressional legislation limiting executive powers. The Constitution gives the President the power to act as Commander in Chief. How constitutional is the War Powers Act? Don’t get me wrong, if we are about to go to war, I think the decision should lie with Congress as well, but we aren’t declaring war. Even according to the War Powers Act, the President still has 90 days to get approval, so I’m going to keep thinking that his actions were constitutional.

Let him act as the commander in chief. He got UN approval, he consulted our allies, and he’s passing it off on NATO. What more do you want from him? Not only is he laying down the law in a government-sponsored humanitarian crisis (even though we just glanced over Rwanda and Sudan, but hey, it’s a step forward), but he’s passing it off on our allies. If NATO steps in, (damnit Turkey, we gave you nukes didn’t we?), this would be the most brilliant foreign policy move since the days of Jimmy Carter.

Libya is very critical, not only to our successes in Iraq and Afghanistan, but also to the future of our foreign policy in the middle east. If we can depose Qaddafi, besides eliminating a known terrorist in power of a nation, it would be huge statement for the spread of democracy and our hegemony.  NATO may not approve of our actions in Iraq and Afghanistan, but they are still our allies. They, too, should realize how crucial Libya is to their own security. If there is democracy west of Israel, democratic nations have control of the Mediterranean. If it fails there, we’ll have continued terrorist attacks in Europe, specifically Spain.

If NATO does decide to bail, I’m afraid we’ll have gotten ourselves into another conflict. It seems as though the killings in Libya have continued. United States intelligence officers in Africa have already stated that Qaddafi is “all in”. Then we’re committed. Not following up will invite aggression from other countries in the middle east. It will be seen as a failure by the United States in the face of tyranny. But also because it means NATO is a worthless alliance and the United States is alone. Are we ready to defend ourselves with a failure in Libya? Does a failure in Libya mean a failure in Iraq? Afghanistan? Will our sign of weakness be motivation for terrorist organizations and the Taliban?

I don’t think that will be the case. I think the way Obama has handled the situation will turn out to be a stroke of genius. Qaddafi realizes that he doesn’t have the power to fight the United States, much less NATO. If he calls it quits, after less than a week of actual conflict, that is a win for democracy, NATO, and the United States. Moreover, it is a step towards reversing the disgusting reputation of our hegemony. If the United States flexes its might in the name of democracy, it could be uplifting for the people of middle eastern nations that yearn for freedom and democracy, including the people of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Could that be enough of a signal to other leaders that are under the gun of their people? Bahrain? Syria? Iran? Could this usher in a new age in the middle east? This foreign policy stance, one of democratic ideals, not capitalist ones, is one that should be praised. Freedom is what we want, not exploitation, and those ideals should be universal. Qaddafi is a despot, and we should always oppose despots, especially when they invite our intervention. This is a war that people of the middle east, the ones who may ELECT their future leaders, approve of. Do we not want their approval? Do we not want a healthy relationship with the Middle East? We should support the democratic ideals that the people of these Middle Eastern nations share with us!

At the end of the day, we’re not at war. Obama promised that we should be out of this situation in days, not weeks. NATO, with the exception of Turkey, are in support of his actions. Qaddafi is rumored to be planning his exit strategy already. His air force is defeated, so we’ve done our job in enforcing the “no fly” zone. As far as Obama should be concerned, he did his job. It’s up to NATO, specifically Britain and France, to step up. If all goes as planned, we look fantastic at the end of the day. If not, then maybe we will have to go to war. Cross your fingers.

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Americone Dream vs. Late Night Snack

Posted on March 22, 2011 by acedizzle
Ice Cream Flavors

The Competitors

If you saw the Colbert Report on March 3rd, you saw the Ice Cream Feud of the Century between Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon. Americone Dream is my favorite ice cream, but I was interested in Late Night Snack (chocolate covered potato chips and salty caramel… could that be bad?).  So I decided to have my own little taste test to determine the superior Ben and Jerry’s flavor. The two flavors will be judged on the base ice cream flavor, the mix-in flavor, the face of the ice cream, and the ice cream name.

Base Ice Cream Flavor Winner: TIE
There is no discernible difference between the vanilla ice cream in Americone Dream, and the “vanilla bean” ice cream in Late Night Snack. None.

Mix In Flavor Winner: Americone Dream
This was the most contested category, and it really is the main difference between the two flavors. The edge went to Americone Dream, because chocolate covered waffle cone clusters are delicious. Now if it came down to intrigue, Late Night Snack would have one, because the salty potato chips were… well, intriguing. They live an interesting aftertaste in your mouth, and I liked the taste, but it was not as satisfying as the waffle cone. I will also note that the “salty caramel” was again, not discernibly different than the “normal caramel.”

Face of the Ice Cream Winner: Stephen Colbert
This one is pretty simple, it is like comparing prime rib with, I don’t know, weird peer of prime rib.

Ice Cream Name Winner: Americone Dream
I’m not going to explain this one, if you think Late Night Snack is a better name that Americone Dream… it’s too late for you.

Winner: Americone Dream

Although it appears that Americone Dream ran away with it by winning 3.5 of 4 categories, this is not the case. I recommend everyone goes out and gets some of both to try. Then come back and vote in the poll.

Stephen Colbert

The Winner

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Firework (Bombs Away Electro Dubstep Remix) — Katy Perry

Posted on March 21, 2011 by acedizzle

Filthier than the floor of your local waffle house.

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The Man Inside Me or How to Beat Your Wife in 10 Days

Posted on March 13, 2011 by DonnyBagg

The Killer Inside Me is a modern-day take on the “Beauty and the Beast” tale where a New York teen is transformed into a hideous monster in order to find true love…or that could be the super shitty looking movie Beastly (Completehack, 2011) that came out this weekend starring no one of merit and written and directed by someone that nobody has ever heard of. Yes, that summary sounds a lot more like Beastly. The Killer Inside Me is the story of a friendly and aloof (I had written amiable and mild-mannered but both the IMDB and Wikipedia summaries took them from me) deputy sheriff, Lou Ford, in the 1940’s who moonlights as a psycho-killer and all around rude Gus. It is directed by Michael Winterbottom, stars Casey Affleck, Kate Hudson, and Jessica Alba (but Hudson and Alba really aren’t in it that much), and is originally written by this guy named Jim Thompson who, a quick search of the internets will tell me, helped write two of the lesser known Kubrick films (The Killing (1956) and Paths of Glory (1957)) and numerous novels before being black-listed in the 50’s by Senator McCarthy for being a communist. Overall, it is a pretty solid picture.

Pros: The Killer Inside Me has a nice little plot, not as suspenseful as Dexter (nothing ever is) but you still find yourself wondering if Lou will be crafty enough to escape suspicion. For a movie I knew was about a serial killer, I found it rather mild on the blood and gore side. I would like to further explain that statement; by mild I mean low in quantity not quality, there are certainly some gut-wrenching sequences. The scarcity of violence adds value to the story, seeing the complete shift in Affleck’s character from gentle to rabid. Jessica Alba is on the screen for roughly 25 minutes and is at least half naked for at least half that time. Nothing against her personally as an actress, but her performance improves as the clothes come off. Casey Affleck does a great job emoting that subtle creeper vibe, working it almost to perfection with that half smile he keeps flashing. I have watched him in just over half a dozen movies and have yet to be disappointed (with the exception of Gerry (2002), who would have guessed Casey Affleck, Matt Damon, and Gus Van Sant could make a shitty movie?) Unless I am forgetting something I would have to say this is his second best role, below Gone Baby Gone (Affleck, 2007), and slightly above The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (Dominik, 2007). Kate Hudson, Simon Baker, and others float in and out of scenes but nothing too substantial. Bill Pullman makes, what I can only assume is considered, a cameo and that is about it for the acting. Michael Winterbottom is a peculiar type of director, both eclectic and prolific. He has made 17 movies in the past 15 years ranging from documentaries like The Road to Guantanamo (2006), to somewhat mainstream features such as A Mighty Heart (2007), and finally independent films like 9 Songs (2004)(which if you happen across on Netflix instant play, it is a 70 minute porno with a rock concert in the background) None of that has to do with his ability in this particular film, although it does look like a bit of 9 Songs may have rubbed off on Jessica Alba because he is definitely riding her hard in those sex scenes…directorially speaking.

Cons: I will preface this by admitting I watched The Killer Inside Me while at work on two separate days, and that was 5 days ago. So any problems I found the movie are probably my fault just as much as they are the movies fault. That being said, some of the plot seemed a bit murky. Nothing too important like clearly his childhood was a bit fucked, but what was going on in some of those flashbacks? And did his adopted brother die or was he murdered? Did Lou murder his brother? Why would a banana want to steal other bananas? Those are the kinds of questions I don’t want to answer. But seriously, this is American cinema, it doesn’t hurt to be overt and explicit (you want me to be explicit?). Any other detractions were merely personal taste. All together it is enjoyable but not out of this world. So I give it:

3.5 out of 5 haymakers to Jessica Alba’s face

And for the ease of the reader I have changed all the gender-related pronouns– “he” “she” to the masculine “he.” For Lindsey, my rock, I could not have done this without him. I counted 6 Arrested Development references, did you notice them all? Huzzah! (7)

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Childish Gambino, New EP

Posted on March 10, 2011 by michaelkeaton

On March 8th, Childish Gambino, aka Donald Glover, released a free EP to the internets.

He still has a lot of room to improve, but this is defiantly one of those “don’t quit your night job” scenarios. I wish he would sing a little less, but it’s nice to listen to a rappers lyrics and not hate what music is becoming. His lines are smart, and from what I can gather, honest. Most importantly they appeal to my demographic (specifically, male/ born in the 80’s / raised in the 90’s.) With song titles like “Freaks & Geeks,” and lyrics like:

Step inside the party, y’all ni***s is mood killers
My lifestyle simple, live easy and Bruce Willis
I’m the boss, Michael Scott, y’all bitches is just Phyllis.

‘Cause I’ma be on these tracks like indie girls on Amelie
Honesty, I’m rappin’ ’bout everything I go through
Everything I’m sayin’, I’m super sayin’ like Goku.

The beat is witches’ brew, but beware this hit is potent
E.E. Cummin’ on her face, now thats poetry in motion

Do this and I just might wife you
Let me poke you ma, Raichu.

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